Busy Busy Busy

So busy at the moment! I think I've had to turn down 6 or 7 schools recently, cos just no room. March truly is the busiest month of the year for me. But lots of fun within that busy-ness. Yesterday was brill dressing up as a pirate and joining the staff and pupils up at Ackworth Howard School. Mr Smith as Where's Wally was very amusing. Every time the staff needed to know something, someone said 'Ask Wally'.

And today, Stradbroke Primary in Sheffield had World Book Day a day late, as they do every year, so that the hyped up, energetic children can go home and deflate slowly for the weekend. Good plan I reckon! It's a large school (very large, actually), and therefore the full assembly hall this afternoon was an array of colour as 100s of children had transformed into book characters. Highlights of the day for me was Mrs Shelley's Smelly Wellies (brilliant work Reception), Lucy Cutts' written story (ALL her own work - another bit of genius from the 5s and under), and the story of tweety, the bird who loved Fish and Chips.

The diary tells me that 19 events to go before our end of month holiday to Spain. Take a deep breath, Con, take a deep breath...

It's here!

Well, this morning I had a delivery of 2000 books! Brand new books, written by me! 'Teachers Pick their Noses' is officially out, and ready for sale. I was sooooo nervous as I opened the first box. Would the cover look good? Would there be any spelling mistakes? Would I like it as much as my frist book? And, having dared to reach in to the box and draw out one of the books, it was to my great delight that I discovered my new book looks brilliant. Really fab. It's thicker than the first one (more poems for your pennies!), and the paper looks a bit brigher too. All in all I'm completely chuffed about it. Now I just need to sell them...

Blast from the past at Towngate

I spent all day yesterday at Towngate school in Ossett. It was rather strange driving up the hill to the school - the same hill that I used to walk up in the late 80s and early 90s almost every day in the summer on my way to Spring Mill Golf Course. Some things look rather different when you're a grown up - the hill, for example, used to seem a lot longer and steeper than it did yesterday (although I guess yesterday I was in a car...).

What a brill day I had there. The children were lovely and the staff were extremely friendly. The poetry from some of the children was outstanding. Jacob, the eventual winner, wrote a fantastic riddle - I'm hoping to post the poem up here - so come on Jacob, send it through!

I really hope that I can go back there sometime. But I need to remember to watch my head when I go into the staffroom. I nearly knocked myself out on a low beam. Nobody's ever noticed it before, cos nobody is tall enough to be worried by it. Until me, that is!

And I'm sure that every child in school will forever remember that my name is Conrad (not Conran, Connor, Carl etc...). Conrad. Conrad! Conrad!!! With a 'd, d, d, d, d, d,'!

A Victorian Christmas

I spent all day yesterday with the Year 6s at Smawthorne Henry Moore Primary in Castleford, on the theme of 'A Victorian Christmas.' I've learned lots from researching this particular topic. For example, in the mid 1800s, the smell from the Thames was so overpowering and so grim, that the Members of Parliament upped and left, in the middle of their working day. It became known as 'The Great Stink.' I'd say that over the last few years there have been quite a lot of 'Great Stinks' when it comes to MPs! Also discovered that Sainsbury's and Boots started at this time from very humble beginnings in London. Not to mention that the phrase 'Mad as a Hatter' came from the Victorians as hat makers used mercury in their hat making, which in turn got into their blood and gave a number of them brain damage, turning them insane. Watching 'Alice in Wonderland' will never be the same again!

One of my favourite parts of the days was the poetry that the class came up with. I read them some Edward Lear, Hilaire Beloc, (and some of mine), and then got them to come up with their own nonsense limericks. Mrs Stott with a face full of snot was one of the best.

It will take me a good number of return visits before I get my head round the layout of the school. It was explained to me that it was essentially a figure of eight with a bulge at one side. Well, without frequent staff assistance I think I'd have been lost in the bulge a number of times!

Now it's Christmas full steam ahead for me. No more schools til Jan 3rd. Merry Christmas every one!

More poems

I've just been reading through the poems from tonight's competition. And there are some truly brilliant ones. One of the best, that nearly won the competition (but not quite. Oh, so close!), was written by my zany, wacky, and fantastic nephew Tom. It's about an angry suitcase. Here goes...

The Angry Suitcase

There was once an angry suitcase
Who snapped and snapped all night
People kept on throwing him
Until his face went white
But one day it all began!
And then he had a plan!
An extremely evil plan!
He had himself fitted wheels
And snapped at people's heels
And then he gave brith
And now his son rules the earth!!!!!

Written by Tom



Another fantastic poem (and appropriate for this time of year), was from Maddie, who decided that making up words was her best chance of success. And how close she came to winning the whole thing! Hers is about fireworks...

Firework-alicious

Fireworks are Bangtastic
Vampires think Fangtastic
I think Fandabatastic
What do you think?


Written by Maddie



The entries were awesome! Well done everyone and keep writing. Here's to next year's competition!

St Peters' Poetry Competition

There were some great poems handed in for the competition tonight. I must have had nearly 30 entries, which soundly beat last year's total of about 6. The winners, in the end, were Corey, Ellis and Dylan, who beat off competition from loads of other pupils. Here is their winning entry in full. It's untitled, but I have decided to call it 'Heart of Gold.'

Heart of Gold

I'm rich!
I'm rich!
I've just been told,
I have a heart of gold.
I might sell it,
But I doubt it,
I don't think I'll live without it!


Well done boys. And enjoy all the sweets that you won in the process! I sometimes see poems and think 'I wish I'd written that.' And this is one of them. Really brilliant.

Stanley St Peters' and heads falling off!

Today I had a rather special assembly - at Alice's school! She was sooooo excited that her daddy was going to be reading his poems to everyone at school. And when she walked in, I was full of smiles. As was she. But goodness me, WHAT a lot of children! There must have been 300 filling the hall from front to back. And they were pretty noisy. But it seems they enjoyed it. One child was apparently heard to say to his childminder that he laughed so much his head fell off and he had to get tape to stick it back on again!

And the accompanying evening shopping event went really well. Lots of books were sold, and lots of poems were written. Which leads me on to the next post...