BIKE-OETRY

 

 

So...it is finished! I did it! 52 miles, on my bike, in my full cricket kit, with a bag on my back that weighed nearly 10kg, around 10 schools. And I want to say a HUUUUUUUUUGE thank you to all of you guys. Without you, it just wouldn't have been possible. So many people have sponsored me because they loved the idea not only of cycling in my cricket kit, but also because I was involving schools and promoting poetry. My brother asked me last night what my highlights and lowlights were. There were many highlights, and happily, only one low light (riding 4 mph up a steep hill on some estate somewhere DESPERATE for the loo!).

 

So, here are the highlights...

 

I started 630am riding to my mum's and back for a coffee - I had to do some extra miles as the school route wasn't long enough  in itself to make 50 miles. Coming back home from mum's was interesting - lots of highschool children waiting for buses and finding it HIGHLY amusing that some bloke was riding past on his bike in his cricket kit.

Then it was onto Silcoates, my old stomping ground. And what a reception! I got to play cricket with the pupils and the head (keep trying Adrian...you'll bowl me out one day!). I was also presented with a limerick by Mr Jo Pigott. Take a bow, Jo...

 

Conrad's love and devotion to cricket

Extends beyond defending his wicket

With his poems and smiles

He'll cycle fifty miles

So some support would be just the ticket

 

Brilliant or what?! I was then afforded a guard of honour, riding down the very paths I used to walk along as a pupil, to great cheers and clapping.

The route on to Holy Trinity in Ossett meant cycling UP Low Laithes. If you've never seen that hill, it's a beast. But it was worth it cos at Holy Trinity I got smuggled in to the back of the hall mid assembly. The reaction of the lady playing the piano was priceless. As she saw me, her tune simply faded out as her mouth widened !

And Abigail's winning poem was fab. A poem about a teacher scratching her bum is always a good idea!

A long ride then over to Streethouse, where I suffered the ignominy of being overtaken by an eighty year old. 'Bit early for cricket, lad' he laughed as he flew by me. Streethouse also let me ride my bike in the hall, and there I got to hear Ben's awesome football poem and Steven Gerrard rhyme. A quick bottle refill, a (much needed) use of the facilities, then off to St Giles, via the railway line where I had a selfie, batting on the empty tracks. I know I often play down the wrong line (cricketing terminology for missing the ball when you're batting, to all you non-cricketing dudes), so I thought I'd do a pictoral reference of that.

St Giles' children evidently couldn't wait for me to actually get IN their school, so came to meet me on the road side with a cup of water, a banana, LOTS of smiling faces and TWO poems. Madaline's winning poem about her neighbour's stinky feet was brill, and the spring poem from the other little girl was lovely (sorry, I can't remember your name?!) - please send a copy of the Spring poem as I don't have one.

I had no time to pause, it was on to Redhill Juniors. How great were they?! Waiting in the playground for me, cheering and whooping, and holding up a sign that said 'Good Luck Conrad!' After hearing a great simile poem (was it Eden? I forget - I think so. Please send a copy!), Savannah presented me with two homemade biscuits that she had made. Note to self - when wearing a cricket helmet with a grill, take said helmet  off before trying to greedily stuff the whole biscuit in your mouth! At least it made the children laugh! Next it was Glasshoughton Infants - and there I got to ride right into a classroom!!!!! That was a first for me. Miller's poem about his dad was funny and moving - a really really great poem and a very proud young man when I told him he, like all the other winners, would be getting a copy of my new book before anyone else in the country.

 

Off then to Three Lane Ends who, delightfully, had a sandwich, salad, bun, and banana waiting for me. After listening to Ryan's winning poem in the playground (and wasn't he chuffed?! His reaction when his friends ran up to him to tell him he'd won was pricelesss - he just danced around the playground, punching the air. It was awesome!) I got a few minutes in the staff room to eat lunch, have a coffee, and ponder the fact that I had to get back on my bike. By this time I was hurting somewhat. My bike was peering at me from the corridor, daring me to saddle up.

And saddle up I did, all the way to Altofts Juniors. 'We couldn't pick a winner,' they told me, 'so we've got six!' Good news for me, I got to sit and relax whilst listening to six poems - please send them Fi, and I'll choose a winner. As I rode off I heard the secretary saying 'how does he ride in those cricket gloves?' 'How, indeed, love,' I thought, as I contemplated another 9 miles before home.

Ledger Lane was my penultimate school. Whilst I waited in the playground I heard a little voice shouting. It was a boy on a scooter in nursery. Here's what the conversation went like.

3 year old:    What are you doing?

Me:                Riding my bike.

3 year old:    It's a playground, not a field. You shouldn't be doing that.

Me:                The teacher said I could.

3 year old:    Well you shouldn't.

Me (sheepishly):    Sorry...

 

At that point I was rescued by Year five, and in particular Ashley, who performed her (rather aptly themed, given the recent encounter I'd had with said three year old) poem 'Nursery'. Teacher-destroyers, Ashley said. Conrad-destroyers, I said!

 

And then, oh bliss, my last school. Stanley St Peter's. The school that my daughters go to. And wow! I arrived in reception, tired, sweaty, in need of a lie down... And there, like an oasis of plenty, stacked up on the secretary's table, there was...

 

A congratulations card

A can of red bull

A boost

A bottle of lucozade

A bottle of water

 

As I rode down the corridor and into the assembly hall, all I could think of was how quickly I would devour all that stuff. Thanks Stanley, they were great! And thanks Mrs Preston, for keeping all your troops so well in order. It was lovely to hear the two runner up poems and Oscar's winning poem. Copies please!

 

And that was it. Ice creams all round in the playground (somehow I managed NOT to get one???!!!) and then...

 

A rest?

 

A lie down?

 

Bed?

 

Nope - tea to make for the girls, tidy up, wash the dishes (broken dishwasher...ugh) and THEN a bath. A most magnificent, bubbly, hot, wonderful bath. Then a HUUUUUGE amount of salty crisps, delicous chocolate, sugary sweets. And finally bed.

Thank you all SO much. Without you and your schools I just couldn't have done it. Thank you for all the money you donated, all the kindness you showed me, and all the enthusiasm you brought. Yesterday was one of my favourite days of all time. Alice told me last night I should think about my sponsored bike ride with pride. And I do. And I will, for a long long time.

The official total has come in at £1425, almost double what I raised when I swam a mile in my cricket kit in 2013. You guys are a very big reason that that is the case.

 

 

Right - off to Barnsley to do a day of storytelling. Not quite sure how I'm going to do that...!!!!

 

Conrad