Grumbling Grannies

After assembly today at a (hitherto unnamed) school, I made my way out to the playground, where a table had been set up for me to display my books for the parents. As I wandered over, I noticed 2 grannies sitting behind the table. Here's a transcript of our conversation...

Me: Oh, don't move ladies. I'll be fine on the end.
noticing one of my books in front of them...
Granny 1: We've been having a look at this.
Me: What did you think?
pause
Granny 1: I wasn't very impressed
Granny 2: No, she wasn't.
Granny 1: I like the flowers, and the wandering clouds.
Me: Oh dear. Well, everyone has their own opinion.
Granny 1: Yes, they do. They're all just so, so, so dumbed down. There's one - I shan't be able to find it now - but there's one...
Here it is. All about sick. Really.
Me: That's one that I'm really proud about. I really like the rhythm in it. Took me a long time to get that right.
Granny 1 as realisation dawns... Did you write this book?
Me Yes
Granny 1 Well, yes I can see that with the rhythm. But still...
Me thinking 'that's shocked you - finding out you're sitting next to the author after unwittingly slagging off his book!'

CONCLUSION: Five minutes later she came and bought a book, and said 'I told you he'd like it.'


What was she on? If I arrived at school with Wordsworth I don't think I'd get very far. I'm GLAD I write the sorts of poems children want to read. But it's a good job I haven't marketed my book to grannies - at least, not those two anyway.